27 September 2021

We Are Here to Serve. MTSM Leaks

MTSM (Made To Serve Magic)
We Are Here to Serve. MTSM Leaks

Made to Serve Magic is a fictional corporation and a nomadic exhibition made in collaboration between Maria Loboda and Jana Denisiuk, Oleksandr Holiuk, Dominika Hoyle, Kaja Piątkowska, Natalia Sucharek, Agata Sznurkowska, Iwetta Tomaszewska, Olga Truszkowska and Dzmitry Tsishkov. It first came about at Skala Gallery in Poznań and is opening its second edition this Friday at Stroboskop in Warsaw. Below we are sharing some intercepted secret emails exchanged by its members.

We have one piece of advice for the reader: read from the bottom-up.


Thank you for the update, I believe we are on the same page. C u at 6pm to raise a glass to us all, at Stroboskop Art Space, Warsaw.

Cin Cin
Made To Serve

  • user002@mt.sm wrote on sat. 11.09 at 23:57:

    To all departments,

    We have developed a way of connecting our departments on a higher magical level by creating a field of vibrations. We all recognize our differences, and we appreciate them and thrive because of them… This is the way we exercise our mental communications. We want full synchronisation from our departments, and so to assure that our communication is optimal, we would like to hold a Vibration Harmonisation Session that will take place after the financial report meeting. Let’s also hope it helps us to calm down the storm at level IX, which has already lasted for a couple of months and probably was the cause of the broken elevator.


    P. S.
    Please confirm your presence at the Vibration Harmonisation Session.

    Fig 5. Ten triangles with synchronized vibrations

    • user006@mt.sm wrote on sat 11.09 at 10:21:

      Hi user003,

      We offer our apologies, strict quality standards and ultramodern detail conversions have caused a delay due to the missing part of the report. Now that we have received final confirmation from the lab, the report is complete. I suggest everyone reads the following words very carefully:

      Dreams, dreams, dreams. What do you see when you dream? How many dogs in your spaghetti do you count? Dreams are essential tokens of the contemporary economy. They can be traded, invested in, sold, capitalised on. Dreams are weird, strange, irrational, yet they are perfect reflections of the superstructure that produced them. We have built highly rational machines to find dependencies in our irrational reality. No wonder the results of such calculations seem so surreal. MTSM headquarters is likewise a dream-like place. A place where your most profound desires or fears are materialised, transformed, and put to work by our magical service.

      Your Daily Personalized Dream Interpretation from floor IV:
      “If you feel or see that you are at a significantly high level, it means you will get ahead of your competition and achieve success earlier. If you’re falling from a great height, some secrets of yours might be in danger. If you jumped from this height yourself, it means your social status will increase soon, but you should watch out for traitors.“

      Protect your dreams.

      Our best wishes,
      Department of Sign Analytics

      • user003@mt.sm wrote on fri 10.09 at 19:44:


        I am writing to you directly after the closing of today’s investor meeting. Overall, everyone seemed to be satisfied with the results of our future-predicting ritual. As for the elevator issue, next time just try using the stair-climber machine from our boiler room gym on floor II to get around the building. You will be surprised how many new non-linear connections, in time and space, will open up in front of you. Just embrace the magic running through your veins and sweat it out.

        I have also noticed that our Department of Sign Analytics still hasn’t submitted the Deep Dream Interpretation Report yet. I remind you all that we are here to serve and kindly ask for the missing part to be provided ASAP.


        Sponsored Ad
        “Low on energy? Having problems with memory and concentration? Try our new hightech energy drink made from Excel Dragon Scales! It will blow your mind away, or maybe even your whole head! And it literally does the job for you better than any potion on the beverage market. Try it and you won’t be able to get enough of it. C U in the Dragon Lair (1st floor).”

        Fig 4. Loop of faith

        • user007@mt.sm wrote on fri 10.09 at 14:40:

          My Dear user009,

          Getting back to the philosophical conversation we had today while eating those gorgeous, organically grown wine grapes from those beautiful neighbouring Polish fields. Ah, how I wish sometimes I could escape this world of choking ties and elevator small talk and live a simple life somewhere in a bio-certified village with 24/7 surveillance cameras hidden behind medieval follies, feeling eternally rested and always safe.

          But here we are, still having to serve. Remember the unkept promise of eternal leisure they gave us while installing those black boxes on floor VI? Instead, they started to live in their own, magical way. Oh, and how hungry for electricity they turned out to be! So much, that even the first letter of our neon sign went eternally dark.

          “We are not offering rational solutions to everyday problems. Rationality is outdated. We prefer magic, contemporary magic. Close your eyes and dream.”
          from “MTSM. Corporate Philosophy vol. 2”

          P. S.
          By the way, I have some inside information on Today’s Specials:
          –Double Irish
          –Single Malt
          –Dutch Sandwich
          –Dutch Slice
          –Dutch Double Dip

          • user005@mt.sm wrote on fri 10.09 at 09:30:

            Dear user009,

            I have some interesting figures for you straight from the Serve(rs) on floor VI. They are still hot off the wire as you might imagine. This is one email that you won’t regret opening today.

            Fig 3. Freshly baked figures

            P. S.
            Lunch sounds great! I heard people talking about this new canteen between floors 2 and 3. They say the food there mmmm is dropped from f heaven. Although I’m not sure how to get there… I wonder what kind of incantation, motto rune, chant or spell opens the secret passage. It would be a nice change of pace after initiating all of the occultist bureaucratic séances I recently participated in. Because of this intense experience I couldn’t agree more, and to have lunch with you, user009, before continuing on the report.

            • user009@mt.sm wrote on sat 11.09 at 23:57:

              To whom it may concern,

              Our department would like to give you some hopefully helpful advice, but unfortunately we can’t promise that it will end successfully. You see, it won’t be that easy to tame the copy machine to do what you want. It is driven by a very rare and powerful code, it is the last standing example of that ubiquitous language. From what we understand, it is trying to recover the origin of the first clone that it had made. It has become obsessed with this idea and works endlessly, 24/7. One of our technicians tried to persuade the photocopier to share the code with him in exchange for help, but instead it just spat out mumbo jumbo!

              Fig 2. Copy of a copy

              Oh well, going back to the elevator subject, we suggest outsourcing, and engaging Architecture Aura Cleansing™ to perform a thorough cleanse of the building. Maybe this solution would ensure that no magician is ever stuck in a dark, network-free vertical corridor.

              During WGW we are going to deliver the ultimate high quality service, just as the stars’ alignment tells us. A wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.

              //anyone up for lunch?? I think a lot of trendy places have opened near our new headquarters.

              With love,

              • user004@mt.sm wrote on sat 11.09 at 13:33, cc all departments:

                Dear user008,

                What seemed to you like weeks was only a couple of hours. Time is a concept that can play tricks with our minds. Hot tip: remember to always have an hourglass on you. There is a chance that when going the right amount of times up, down, down, and up, you might just be able to unlock time and travel into the future. However, if you’re not careful you might end up, for example, in the desert that took over floor number VII. You must master the art of elevator button combinations! We have been gathering information and studying it for the past year. Our MTSM library has a separate section dedicated specifically to this subject – for starters, we recommend the “Book of Secrets” by Ibn Khalaf al-Muradi from the year 1000, and from a thousand years later, “Improvements to the Up Peak Round Trip Time Calculation” by ​​Peters R D. We highly recommend visiting floor number VIII to make some copies of these groundbreaking masterpieces.


                • user008@mt.sm wrote on thu 11.9 at 08:53, cc all departments:

                  Hi all,

                  I am sorry to join this conversation at such a late point in time. I got stuck in an elevator somewhere between the 12th and 14th floors for a couple of weeks or so, at least that’s how it felt. Obviously there was no Wi-Fi in that damned place. The figures look very convincing, I would be happy to present this information at our investor meeting this Friday. I also think we need to quickly draft up an annual projection, our Secret Money Supply needs to know what they have invested in.


                  Fig 1. Future, Present and The Long Gone

                  • press@mt.sm wrote on wed 8.09 at 18:12, cc all departments:

                    Dear user000 and user001,

                    So, you are ready to dive into our dusty archive of Ancient Scripts. Just be careful not to bother the thousand year old spiders busy spinning webs around our information networks.

                    The story of MTSM begins at the Dark University of the Arts (D/UAP) in Poznań during the autumn of the first pandemic. Maria Loboda, our current CEO, came to D/UAP to practice sorcery with us, her young devoted pupils. During one of our long G00gl3 M33ts rituals and vibration harmonization sessions, the idea to form MTSM came to us. We wanted to become a brand new word in the world of magical systems. This ambitious enterprise took us seven months to become fully realized; from the start of our sessions in November till our first spectacular appearance at Skala Gallery in Poznań in early June. We send big thanks to the Intermedia Department of D/UAP and the staff of Skala Gallery, with special thanks to Daniel Koniusz, without whose help all of our magical spells wouldn’t have worked.

                    The most difficult challenge during our embryonic stage was the synchronization of the departments and presenting each work in an elegant and harmonious format. Business must be conducted with elegance! And in this context nothing could have been a better idea than to build an actual Mies van der Rohe-inspired dystopian high-rise. Take an elevator to level V and see the scale model of our edifice.


                    • user001@mt.sm wrote on wed 8.09 at 12:27, cc all departments:

                      Hi user000,

                      Thank you for your email. During the last quarter, as you already know, MTSM held an exhibition at Skala Gallery in Poznań. Now we are moving our headquarters to Warsaw, to Stroboskop, which should be exciting–we are sure you’re familiar with that venue.

                      Referring to your inquiry about the Quarterly Report–we are proud to announce that all the goals our company set at the Skala meeting have been smashed by 678%. This was all thanks to us, the magnificent workers of magic, so we decided to reward ourselves with a splendid banquet which took place in an underground karaoke club in Poznań called Comeback. For the full story I’ll direct you to our Press Department, I’m afraid I might write just one sentence too much. You know what I mean, they have Ancient Scripts to adhere to.

                      P.S. We don’t know what you mean about the budget? Ofc the budget was spent ages ago–but don’t you worry, we have our Secret Money Supply 😉


                      • user000@mt.sm wrote on wed 8.09 at 09:00:

                        Hi user001,

                        I am writing to inquire about the state of our quarterly report due tomorrow. Could you please update us ASAP?


                        P.S. Oh, and we hope you didn’t blow your Q3 budget already!


ExhibitionMade To Serve Magic
Place / venueStroboskop
DatesOctober 1-3 2021
Exhibition designMaria Loboda

See also