‘Lone Long Boy’ by Tea Stražičić at Polansky Gallery in Prague

In the end, I just wanted to be a vegetable. Potato or not, I didn’t care.
–Mario Mars Lazzarus

The year is 1972 in the Martian Long Year System. The number tells the time that has passed since Mars was terraformed. Earthlings have managed to provide crops, self-sufficient oxy-hydra suits and infrastructure for their clone-colony.

The first humans to live on Mars are colonel Angelica S. and her team of scientists: Hanul B, Dina A, Niklas M, Homer T, Hendrix A, Joao Z, and Mario Mars Lazzarus–an alien who we will later interview.

Tea Stražičić, Lone Long Boy, exhibition view. Photo: Jan Kolský

Tea Stražičić, Lone Long Boy, exhibition view. Photo: Jan Kolský

Tea Stražičić, Lone Long Boy, exhibition view. Photo: Jan Kolský

These humans (and alien) were part of the Space X mission, which was forcefully coordinated by the Lost Souls of Silicon Valley; The United States’ most powerful allegiance between Amazon and Tesla Motors.

MY (Martian Long Year System)

Mario 5: a first generation Martian born from a single fertilized egg brought from Earth. Locally known as Mario Mars Lazzarus, he has been an indestructible force in the continuous survival of his colony. He is known for cultivating rathorses, the mutated cousins of rats and horses, brought in capsules and cages from Earth. These creatures terrorized Martian potato fields (the only cultivated vegetable) for decades, until Mario kindly befriended one of them. Rathorses now serve on potato farms all across the colonized zone.

Tea Stražičić, Lone Long Boy, exhibition view. Photo: Jan Kolský

Tea Stražičić, Lone Long Boy, exhibition view. Photo: Jan Kolský

Tea Stražičić, Lone Long Boy, exhibition view. Photo: Jan Kolský

Tea Stražičić, Lone Long Boy, exhibition view. Photo: Jan Kolský

Tea Stražičić, Lone Long Boy, exhibition view. Photo: Jan Kolský

Tea Stražičić, Lone Long Boy, exhibition view. Photo: Jan Kolský

Tea Stražičić, Lone Long Boy, exhibition view. Photo: Jan Kolský

Tea Stražičić, Lone Long Boy, exhibition view. Photo: Jan Kolský

Before we start to interview Mario, it’s important for the reader to know the current political interplanetary affairs. Following the quick mutations and alien Martian plague gone viral, terraforming Mars has been voted as the first intergalactic sin. Prosecution of all heads involved in the Space X mission by Den Hague resulted in app wars, and Amazon was balkanized from its core.

Earthlings had Mars on their mind, but out of their reach for a full century. During that time, Earth days were numbered by tragedies, except in mainland China and Russia. Meanwhile, Martian colonies were nicknamed “The Long Boys”. Long Boys are asexual, red or yellow eyed clones, symbiotically merged with their silicone oxy-hydra coats. They live off refined potato derivatives and rat meat.

Tea Stražičić, Lone Long Boy, exhibition view. Photo: Jan Kolský

Tea Stražičić, Lone Long Boy, exhibition view. Photo: Jan Kolský

Tea Stražičić, Lone Long Boy, exhibition view. Photo: Jan Kolský

Tea Stražičić, Lone Long Boy, exhibition view. Photo: Jan Kolský

Back in the year 1972. by Martian Long Year System, Chinese Russian alliance launched two Intergalactic Ship Eaters to hold quarantine over Mars colonies. Each battle station projects a glowing shield, modeled in honor of the Chinese Opera mask with a grin and red eyes. Both of them can be seen from the surface of Mars.

Signed by 4th gen. Martians

Journalist S. T. Hayfork-Blackmars

Research by Prof. Mustang Mars, in Memory of Mario Mars Lazzarus