The exhibition’s title itself suggests what it is about.
I would offer the visitors a closer look at my burnout syndrome. In short, it is exhaustion from any kind of photographic process. I studied photography at high school and university. There I began focusing more on the advertising branch of photography and it is this field in particular that got me in trouble. The never-ending repetition with clients and fighting over finances and content had disgusted me to the point where I sold my camera and flew off to Central America.
Before, I could spend 15 hours a day in the studio and my perfectionism almost grew into a phobia. I needed to calm down and think whether there was a point to it all. My decision to leave was one of the best ones in my life. I sorted out my priorities that changed fundamentally and I understood I had nothing to prove to myself. Or better, I understood that I had nothing to prove to anyone by working constantly.
I didn’t make any compromises, and everything had to be perfect all the time. I had received some awards that I was proud of and that sometimes gave me the feeling of superiority. But during the seven months I spent in Costa Rica and Mexico, no one asked me once what my job was, what field I graduated in, who I was or what my goals were. That suited me greatly and I began to laugh at the thought of my getting angry about stupid stuff in the past.
I went through a period of panic attacks, anxiety, taking antidepressants, collapses, and hearing loss. On my travels I basically did nothing except for eating, socialising,and lounging around by the ocean. However, after a few months I started to really miss the creative process. I wanted to come back and work again. A moment came when I again received a commission and was supposed to get back to the thing I was so desperately running from. I could not do it and the thought of taking out my camera made me sick.
I began to do anything with my hands but photographing.
|Exhibition||I Would Like to Introduce You to My Burnout|
|Place / venue||Gandy gallery, Bratislava|
|Dates||11 March – 22 May 2020|